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Monday, April 16, 2012
ive always had this feeling that i wont live for long, given my weak heart condition i got due to secondhand smoking i guess? what's more, with the random allergic reactions i experience-just imagine, getting an allergic reaction during a jog, what could i be allergic to? some tree or plant? guess no one can rlly understand how it feels -even when i get a mozzie bite, im afraid to scratch cos i fear it'll turn ito rashes. even max teething and 'biting' me on my wrist and all - which doesnt hurt, causes red welts, like ive been abused. this post isnt about me drowning myself in self pity - just dont know why my body is like this. all i wna do is to make the best out of whatever time ive got, whether i'll live long or not doesnt matter - just gonna do my best, be it in studies,exercise,family,friends and all. i dont mind passing on, just hope to pass on with no regrets. maybe im a pessismist, maybe i think too much, well.. i dont know. lau says i should stop thinking like this, but just gotta get this off my chest yeah. yeah, that somehow sums up all that i wanna say tnight. on a side note, im really thankful for lau being a part of my life - i never really thought we would and could get through all this.